This article below was in today's Anniston Star On-Line Edition (I hope it is 
ok that I copied it here) and was written by Laura Tudor and I thought it was a great article and even though I do work outside the home - I'm always a Mom first and my kids come before the job - always!! (sorry for all the gigantic spaces - I would fix them, just don't have time or patience right now)!
ok that I copied it here) and was written by Laura Tudor and I thought it was a great article and even though I do work outside the home - I'm always a Mom first and my kids come before the job - always!! (sorry for all the gigantic spaces - I would fix them, just don't have time or patience right now)!Hey, Mom, need a career change?
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In Washington — that place believing itself the nexus of the universe — a growing number of "busy" parents with "hectic" lifestyles have decided they're just too "busy" in these "hectic" days to deal with the mundane aspects of raising a baby. One can almost hear the sales pitch building as these new parents have reality set in:
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"What do you mean I have to get up at night and feed this baby? Surely I can pay someone to do that?"
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"OK, so, like, this kid won't sleep all night — wait, my phone's ringing — yeah, and can I get someone to come in and be a, you know, sleep coach? You know, someone who'll be there to take care of those things that don't go bump in the night? Yeah? Hold on again…."
"OK, so, like, this kid won't sleep all night — wait, my phone's ringing — yeah, and can I get someone to come in and be a, you know, sleep coach? You know, someone who'll be there to take care of those things that don't go bump in the night? Yeah? Hold on again…."
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"Oh, God. I. Am. Not. Dealing with a toilet. I will PAY someone to potty train this kid."
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"Oh, God. I. Am. Not. Dealing with a toilet. I will PAY someone to potty train this kid."
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The sad part is that these people think they're doing a good thing by hiring an "expert" to raise their children, if you believe the story in today's Your Life section. This goes beyond having a nanny. This goes beyond the worn out debate over parents hiring day care or baby-sitters. These people, because they're so "busy," can't be bothered with the most intimate milestones in their children's lives.
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There's even a growing market to pay someone to fill out applications for school.
There's even a growing market to pay someone to fill out applications for school.
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One thing there's definitely a shortage of, however, is perspective.
One thing there's definitely a shortage of, however, is perspective.
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The excuse given for relying on paid experts is that today's society is so fractured. These busy people have moved to cities busy enough to stimulate them and their bank accounts. Their take is that new parents, busy and hectic, don't have their mothers or fathers nearby to consult when Junior decides nighttime is playtime. They don't know who to ask for help, so they pay someone $5,000 to potty train. Or $3,000 to fill out school applications.
The excuse given for relying on paid experts is that today's society is so fractured. These busy people have moved to cities busy enough to stimulate them and their bank accounts. Their take is that new parents, busy and hectic, don't have their mothers or fathers nearby to consult when Junior decides nighttime is playtime. They don't know who to ask for help, so they pay someone $5,000 to potty train. Or $3,000 to fill out school applications.
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Apparently, even with all their money and education, they missed that course in history that said we've always been a nation of movers who built community and resources wherever we hung our coats.
Apparently, even with all their money and education, they missed that course in history that said we've always been a nation of movers who built community and resources wherever we hung our coats.
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Newsflash. Grandma has not always been right across the street. Just imagine a 19th century Scotswoman, not long off the boat, raising her firstborn in Hell's Kitchen of New York: "Dear Mum, I canna get the bairn t'sleep a wink."
Newsflash. Grandma has not always been right across the street. Just imagine a 19th century Scotswoman, not long off the boat, raising her firstborn in Hell's Kitchen of New York: "Dear Mum, I canna get the bairn t'sleep a wink."
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By the time she'd received a reply to her letter, assuming she and her mother could read or write, her bairn would have been on to other rites of life. Like that dreadful potty training that must be outsourced.
By the time she'd received a reply to her letter, assuming she and her mother could read or write, her bairn would have been on to other rites of life. Like that dreadful potty training that must be outsourced.
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Few people come naturally hard-wired to be a mom or a dad. Some people have a nurturing gene in them that emerges at the early stages of life. Others have to learn the patience and care and compassion a mom or dad must have; a legion of people find this skill only after they have children of their own.
Few people come naturally hard-wired to be a mom or a dad. Some people have a nurturing gene in them that emerges at the early stages of life. Others have to learn the patience and care and compassion a mom or dad must have; a legion of people find this skill only after they have children of their own.
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Initiations come in nighttime diaper changing — a dodging skill for parents of boys — and trips to the doctor when the little one is miserable sick and truly, truly believes Daddy can make everything better. Even when he's covered in baby blap and wondering how he drew the short straw for the doctor run, Daddy is still holding on tight and promising everything will be OK.
Initiations come in nighttime diaper changing — a dodging skill for parents of boys — and trips to the doctor when the little one is miserable sick and truly, truly believes Daddy can make everything better. Even when he's covered in baby blap and wondering how he drew the short straw for the doctor run, Daddy is still holding on tight and promising everything will be OK.
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You can't hire love.
You can't hire love.
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You can't hire someone to care if your child sleeps soundly at night. In doing so, these parents miss the chance to stand by the bed and wonder, every night, what they did to be blessed with a creature so magical, so wonderful.
You can't hire someone to care if your child sleeps soundly at night. In doing so, these parents miss the chance to stand by the bed and wonder, every night, what they did to be blessed with a creature so magical, so wonderful.
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A few people also are hard-wired not to be parents. They know it, and move along life just fine on their own merry way.
A few people also are hard-wired not to be parents. They know it, and move along life just fine on their own merry way.
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The people in Washington seem to be caught between wanting to list parenting as a title, yet not wanting to get their hands dirty in carrying out its duties. They're caught between feeling the demand to check the box that says "Mom" and wanting to shoehorn that role in between meetings, lunches and the life they had before children.
The people in Washington seem to be caught between wanting to list parenting as a title, yet not wanting to get their hands dirty in carrying out its duties. They're caught between feeling the demand to check the box that says "Mom" and wanting to shoehorn that role in between meetings, lunches and the life they had before children.
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It cannot be both ways. Money can buy experts, but it can't buy back those memories and moments surrendered at the altar of "hectic and busy."
It cannot be both ways. Money can buy experts, but it can't buy back those memories and moments surrendered at the altar of "hectic and busy."
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Perhaps, get a dog.
Perhaps, get a dog.
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On second thought — envisioning a string of rolled up Architectural Digests instead of newspapers — get a stamp collection. Or take up bonsai gardening.
On second thought — envisioning a string of rolled up Architectural Digests instead of newspapers — get a stamp collection. Or take up bonsai gardening.
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Then, if the molding and shaping of your young charge doesn't come off as perfect and seamless as you imagine, you can always whack off a limb and start manipulating again.
Then, if the molding and shaping of your young charge doesn't come off as perfect and seamless as you imagine, you can always whack off a limb and start manipulating again.
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